Ancient wisdom on choosing people - Seven types of people to be wary of

Throughout our life journeys, we encounter and interact with a wide variety of people. You'll find that in a large group, there's all sorts of people, just like the Chinese saying: "Don't associate with bad friends, or you'll suffer for life." In the process of meeting and making friends, we need a certain level of screening. What kind of people are worth befriending, and what kind should we avoid? We need to have a clear idea. How do we screen? If you don't know how to screen, your wisdom will likely leave you, and disaster will follow. In interpersonal interactions, there are several types of people we need to resolutely avoid.

One, Overly familiar conversation with a stranger ， Bad motives 。 If you meet someone for the first time, and after only three or five minutes of conversation, they start discussing very private matters in great detail, even crying about their marital problems, past marriages, troublesome children, or their tragic childhood and adolescence, then we need to seriously reflect. Why would they share such intimate details so soon? This person's motives are certainly questionable. Therefore, we must be wary of those who are overly familiar too quickly and have bad motives; we must keep our distance.

Two, Gossiping ， Negative mindset 。 There are always people around us who constantly gossip about others. If they gossip about others to you, they will do the same about you to others. For those who gossip, we should try not to spread rumors, and we should keep our distance from such people. Because such people easily develop negative mindsets when encountering people and things; they like to stir up trouble, cannot stand peace and harmony, and cannot bear to see others doing well.

Three, Fastidious and critical ， Poor interpersonal relationships 。 This point can be observed through something we all do every day: "eating." If you want to understand a person, watch how they eat. How a person eats reflects how they interact with others. People who are very picky eaters, only choosing the best for themselves, will also be very picky and selfish in their interpersonal relationships. People who are obsessed with food will also be obsessed with interpersonal relationships. People who are picky eaters will have disharmonious interpersonal relationships. Therefore, picky eaters are suitable for accounting, bookkeeping, or auditing work. If a person has an adaptable palate and eats anything, they are suitable for marketing or public relations work, as they can generally get along with anyone.

Four, High-sounding words, low actions ， Unprincipled conduct 。 What does it mean to have high-sounding words but low actions and unprincipled conduct? It means that a person's ideals, conduct, and maxims are excellent, but they cannot put any of them into practice. Such a person has serious character flaws. I'll tell you a true story. Many years ago, there was a leader who always talked about ideology, the country, the nation, and the future. He was polite and reasonable, and I admired and respected him deeply. However, once, when he was buying snacks and needed change (before mobile payment), a young girl gave him 50 instead of 20. He took the money without saying anything and left immediately. Seeing this high-profile leader act this way over 30 yuan, I thought, if he can do this over 30 yuan, he would certainly resort to any means for 300,000 or 3 million. This person is a typical example of someone with high-sounding words but low actions, and his character is questionable. This leads to a point: no one should boast or jump to conclusions; actions must match words. Every time you need to express yourself, think carefully whether you can truly do what you say. If not, don't say it. Don't expect others to do what you can't do yourself, and don't boast. This is called the unity of knowledge and action, consistency between words and deeds, and it's the most basic principle of being a person. It is said that Zeng Guofan told Li Hongzhang that doing great things only requires one word: "integrity." Li Hongzhang asked Zeng Guofan, "Is this integrity honesty?" Zeng Guofan said, "This integrity means consistency between words and actions." It's not easy to achieve this "integrity."

Five, estrangement from close relatives, insincere emotions. Some people harbor resentment and obsessions towards their parents, even to the point of harming them. Such people will also have problematic children. Buddhism talks about karma; a person's relationship with their parents will have karmic consequences that will affect their own family. From a management and psychological perspective, if a person doesn't respect their parents and doesn't genuinely love their children, how can they be expected to treat their colleagues and outsiders well? If someone is emotionally distant from or even estranged from their siblings, their relationships with colleagues will not be good either. This means that family relationships can predict professional relationships. Chiang Kai-shek once told Dai Li: "When selecting key personnel, we must look at their family relationships. People with strained family relationships cannot be entrusted with important responsibilities, because if they cannot handle close family relationships, they certainly cannot handle professional relationships." Therefore, loyal ministers are filial sons, and filial sons are loyal. A person with a harmonious family, good friends, and stable interpersonal relationships is more reliable and trustworthy. If someone is estranged from their closest relatives, their emotions are unreliable.

Six, Enjoying rule-breaking ， Bad habits 。 People who love to break rules in small matters are likely to have problems in big matters. They tend to be strict with others but lenient with themselves. They are forgiving of themselves, don't demand much of themselves, and always find excuses for their actions, yet they demand high standards of others. Many years ago, an elder mentioned that there are many standards and factors to determine whether a person can succeed, but one habit is revealing: can they get up early? People who can consistently get up early are self-disciplined and will not be too bad. Those who can get up early, exercise, and read, will not waste their time arguing with others, nor will they engage in meaningless internal conflict and waste energy trying to please irrelevant people. They focus on improving and regulating their behavior and conduct.

Seven, Loss of control after drinking ， Unstable mentality 。 A person who is polite and humble before drinking, but becomes talkative, boisterous, and unrestrained after a few drinks, shouting and making a fuss, even telling off-color jokes. Such a drastic change in behavior before and after drinking suggests an unhealthy or even distorted mentality. Therefore, while one can drink and enjoy oneself, it's crucial to maintain consistency in one's behavior. One's character is revealed in how they drink and conduct themselves.